These World Leaders Definitely Aren't Laughing at Trump, Who Made Us Respected Again

Jack Holmes
Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

From Esquire

One of the core messages from Donald J. Trump, presidential candidate, was that "the world is laughing at us," and if we all just elected him, Donald Trump, the President of the United States, they would stop laughin and start respecting us again. This is the rhetorical manifestation of that scowling pose Trump strikes whenever he intends to look Tough and Serious, and like that pose, it's proven to be something of a joke.

When we send our president out to represent us to the world, other world leaders often end up laughing at him. It happened at the United Nations last year. He's been mocked by representatives of Germany, Australia, New Zealand, the Nordic countries. What could it be? Surely the fact that a spray-tanned television addict who processes information solely in terms of whether it is nice or nasty to him now has access to a nuclear arsenal is no laughing matter. And yet, at the NATO summit in London Tuesday, it appears they may just have been laughing at him again. This time it was Justin Trudeau, Emmanuel Macron, and even Boris Johnson. Why, Boris? Why?

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Now, they don't say our dear leader's name here, so it's entirely possible they're talking about another titan of the world stage who held off-the-rails 40-minute press conferences at the top of his bilateral meetings that made his aides' heads explode yesterday. But it sure sounds like our man. You'd expect this from real nasty guys like Trudeau and Macron, but Johnson is, in so many ways, a Trumpian fellow traveler. What would make him laugh at our president?

Ah.

This is not the first time we have been treated to this world-historical farce, where the man in a better position than anyone else on the planet to lead the fight to combat an existential threat to human civilization as we know it demonstrates complete boneheaded ignorance about what exactly climate change is. What's worse: if Trump really doesn't know that "crystal clear water" has nothing to do with the greenhouse effect, or if he's pretending to not know? Oh, and U.S. air and water quality have not improved under this administration. On air in particular, we are sinking. Also, what are these "unlimited loads of things" that the president sees floating towards us? Christ almighty. Someday, they'll wonder how we allowed this insane bullshit to go on while scientists continually served up dire reports on the state and future of our world.

Also, he said this.

Mr. President—what?

There was also Trump's habit, across multiple press availabilities, of proudly trumpeting that the United States has seized oil in Mideast territories.

Of course, this is exactly what critics of the United States—and terrorist recruiters and mouthpieces—say is our real goal in meddling in the Middle East. Just more American imperialism, bombing and shooting for oil. Like with his Definitely Not a Muslim Ban, and his clash-of-civilizations rhetoric, the president is making those people's jobs easier here. No matter, though! The world is taking us seriously again.

Again, though, it's still not 100-percent-confirmed that the leaders of France and Canada and Britain were laughing at us. It just seems that at least Trump thinks so. He was asked about it ahead of his bilateral meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel Wednesday, and reacted thusly.

In fairness, Trump has made himself very accessible to the press on this international jaunt. Bilaterals with other leaders are one of the scenarios where he'll take questions, along with, of course, ChopperTalk. Maybe that's why he just canceled his post-summit press conference, the only one that was actually planned. He's done enough! Certainly it has nothing to do with the laughter echoing in the darkened corridors of his mind.

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