Men Are Revealing Expectations That Are Considered "Attractive" They Actually Hate, And It's Eye Opening
Despite hoarding a majority of the world's privileges, the menfolk are struggling, and they're down bad.
A while back, redditor u/springheeledjack69 asked the question, "What are things that are considered 'attractive' in men that you just don't want to live up to?" and the answers really took me by surprise because the woes range from being able to dance to being the breadwinner.
Here are some of the best responses:
1."Many women find high ambition and successful careers attractive. I make decent money, and if I wanted to, I could make enough to get in that top 5–10%, but I know what that would require, and I don't really care about 'stuff.'"
2."Always initiating or just being dominant, not just in sex but everything outside of it also. I’d just like to be taken care of, even if only once in a blue moon."
3."This idea of being a super traditional man in a world that is no longer traditional. Being told to ‘man-up’ and ‘be a good man’ (in reference to; 'Where have all the good men gone?'). I want to live my life my own way without societal pressures."
4."Expecting me to pay for dates that could be expensive when there's no guarantee I'll ever even see them again. There are so many flakes and fakes out there. Another attractive quality in men, I believe, is standing up for yourself and possibly others, like being the protector. I'm happy to oblige in this role. Being taken for a ride for my money contradicts this. And if you expect equality, you should demonstrate it yourself by paying for your own stuff."
5."Being the provider. I've been receiving the same spiel since I was 5, and it's never been appealing. I have no problem with a woman who wants to be a full-time housewife, but I have no interest whatsoever in being with that woman. I'm too self-sufficient and detail-oriented to sign up for that and remain happy in that relationship."
6."I hate chasing. I fucking hate it. It makes me feel undesired."
7."Being a good dancer. I know women love it, but the music just doesn't move me like that."
8."Being the aggressive pursuer who's only after one thing. Every time I've put on the act and done it, it's worked and has gotten me relationships and sex, but it's not me, and I hate doing it."
9."I can't be asked to dress stylishly. I just don't care about clothing/fashion at all. I have zero desire to 'express myself' through clothing. I just dress so I don't look like a complete idiot/slob, and that's about it. That's as much as I can muster."
10."Wearing a suit. I feel like it might as well just be a sandwich board with 'I can afford to throw away half a grand on clothes I only wear once a month' written on it. And the board would probably be more comfortable."
11."To be receptive to their extreme aggression. 'I need a man that can handle me.' If you want a handler, take your ass to a zoo. I deal with other people's aggression all day, I'm not about to come home to it. Have some class."
12."Being extremely outgoing, forward, and super charismatic all the time. It says nothing about a person's true value as a partner and parent anyways."
13."Handyman skills. I can't build or repair shit. I don't care how engines work. I don't care how to re-wire an electrical socket. I don't care to learn how to build shelves. That's why I have a job: to pay people to do shit for me that I don't know how to do."
14."Materialism. Specifically, materialism for the sake of signaling social status. Buying shit I don't need is a fool's errand. I just use other social signals to demonstrate status."
15."Having to constantly post 'hot boy' stuff on social media/dating apps to basically have the relationship equivalent of CVs, which are a bunch of cringy shit that most men heard/watched a video about from, like, 10 girls, and now they all do it."
"• Mirror selfies? Yuck!
• Photos with pets are always the way to go!
• Make it seem like you're outgoing and fun!
• Cooking photos? Smart move!
Fuck all the way off with that shit. I'm not a product. Even when I post this stuff, it's so dumb to judge me based on them. I'm not trying to impress you as if posting daily activities is now a marketing campaign."
16."Any form of expectation. I have met so many middle-class women who have their own fantastic but expensive lifestyle. I earn my own money, too, but why should I spend my money to also live up to your lifestyle? I am fine with way less and saving my money. It's almost expected to go along with their lifestyle, but why not go along with my cheap 'pathetic' lifestyle? You could argue that you might not be compatible with that person, but I have even seen this so often in broke women. I find it quite a popular expectation that I am absolutely not willing to live up to."
17."Being tall. I’m a relatively fit man, but on a good day, I’m, like, 5’4". It used to bother me up until I turned 19. Figured I wasn’t getting any taller and decided to let it not bug me because it’s something I cannot control."
