'Living Lessons': Survivors of life-changing events share lessons learned with students

MONTVILLE — Fresh out of college and on a cross-country bicycle trip with a friend, Stephen Barton found himself in Aurora, Colorado on July 20, 2012. The two joined an acquaintance at a local movie theater to see that summer's blockbuster "The Dark Knight Rises."

About 15 minutes into the midnight showing, Barton noticed one of the theater's emergency exits open and a figure walking through the doorway. Right after he heard a hissing sound come from a canister that had been thrown into the theater followed by several bright flashes and fireworks sounds.

"All of a sudden, I felt this immense pressure on my chest and my neck," Barton said on Thursday in front of a room full of middle school students. "It was so, so powerful. It knocked the wind out of me and I fell forward in front of my seat. In that moment, I knew all of a sudden that I had been shot with a gun."

The middle schoolers, a few wearing face masks, looked straight ahead or down as Barton spoke during the biannual "Living Lessons: Voices, Visions and Values" event at Robert R. Lazar Middle School in Montville.

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Barton told them he was fortunate to survive the Aurora shooting, which killed 12 people and injured dozens more.

The event featured approximately 50 speakers from around the world, who talked to classes of sixth- through eighth-grade students about various hardships they have experienced and overcome. The experiences ranged from terrorist bombings and other mass casualty events to accidents and substance abuse. Some speakers were there to raise awareness for LGBTQ+ rights, internet safety and other causes.

"Living Lessons" was founded in 2005 by Lazar English teacher Judy Gothelf, who continues to run the program with co-chair Danielle Barkey. Gothelf and co-founder Joseph Keiser, who is now the principal of Franklin Avenue Middle School in Franklin Lakes, wanted students to learn outside of their traditional schoolwork while also being inspired to work through any struggles they are facing.

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"We all have issues, we all have problems," Gothelf said. "These people had pretty big problems and they were able to work through them, so (the speakers are) kind of giving them the courage to say, 'I can do this too'."

Perseverance was at the heart of the presentation by Richard Williams, a victim of the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing that killed 168 people.

Williams' injuries from the attack included a cracked skull, a crushed hand and an ear that was torn off and had to be reattached. Following his recovery, he was involved in planning the Oklahoma City National Memorial and has been a guest of "Living Lessons" every year since its inception.

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"There are numerous people that I know of personally that have never healed mentally because they can't deal with whatever is going on in their life," Williams said. "For me, that was never an option. I had to get out, go back to work. I had to do something positive and I had to make a difference."

Some of the students said they connected with the speakers.

Sixth-grader Jonah Seewald, who is Jewish, said he was fascinated by the account of the Holocaust survivor. Classmate Michael Taormina, whose uncle was killed on 9/11, listened intently as a survivor talked about escaping the World Trade Center on the day of the attacks.

Sophia Billings, a seventh-grader, noted how each of the speakers discussed suffering long-term mental effects from their respective situations. Still, she said, one of the key lessons she learned from the day was to "always be optimistic. Even in dark times, there's a light."

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Sixth-grader Circe Vena had a similarly positive takeaway from the speakers.

"Always look at the good in things," she said. "Everyone I talked to, they all went through hard experiences, but they're all proud. They're not upset about what problems they have or what they went through."

Barton told the students that he returned to the movie theater parking lot a year after the shooting. From there, he and his friend, who was uninjured in the shooting, resumed their bicycle trip and finished as planned in California.

The trip taught Barton that life can change in unexpected ways, good and bad. He urged students to remember that, despite what they may hear about in the world, most people are good at heart.

"I could just choose to focus on the one person — literally one person — who shot me, who decided to try to end my life, who really could have ruined my experience traveling and meeting people," Barton said. "But there are literally hundreds of other people who were so friendly, so kind. Those people are by far the majority, and I choose to focus on those people when I think of that trip."

This article originally appeared on Morristown Daily Record: Living Lessons program teaches Montville middle students perseverance