'I didn't know love didn't hurt': How a Battle Creek woman is 'breaking the silence' on domestic violence

BATTLE CREEK — Doris Taylor knows the fear, isolation and helplessness of domestic violence.

It's a horrifying reality she lived four decades ago. She stayed with a man who beat her for five years because she loved him.

"I didn’t know that wasn’t love," Taylor said Wednesday, reflecting on the abuse. "I didn’t know love didn’t hurt."

Guided by her faith and constant support from her mother, Taylor finally escaped the toxic relationship. She's now happily married to her husband of 31 years, has two children and recently welcomed her fifth grandchild.

Memories of the trauma she experienced in her 20s still remain. Rather than keep quiet, Taylor is taking a stand, joining six other domestic violence survivors in authoring the new book "The Power of Breaking The Silence: The Blue Print of a Survivor."

"I know the shame, I know the judgment, I know what people say to you and I want people to know that they’re not alone," Taylor said. "If they need anybody just to talk to, I’m here. I’m here for you."

The book details personal stories of domestic violence experienced by Taylor and fellow authors TeKeisha Wade, Shannon Savoy, Sonya Davis, Tina Durbin, Latrina Caldwell and Darshell Andrews, while also providing advice on how to move forward.

Taylor will be signing copies of the book 4-8 p.m. Saturday at the Cricket Club, 36 W. Michigan Ave. The book is also available on Amazon.

The women connected through the Facebook group "#Silentnomore the fight against Domestic Violence Let's Talk," a group Taylor created a few years ago as a means to share her story and provide resources and support to other victims of domestic violence.

The authors have yet to meet one another in person but have instead bonded over several Zoom calls in recent years, sharing laughter and tears as each recalled the hardships they've endured, culminating with the December publication of the book.

"For years I dreamed that someone was whispering to me saying that I was going to save peoples' lives and I used to talk to (my mom) about it," Taylor explained. "She said, ‘That’s God talking to you, telling you, he saved your life for a reason.'

"Finally, God placed the right people in my life where we could collaborate on this book together and get this book out."

In the book's opening chapter, Taylor shares how her abuser led her to believe he was Prince Charming before revealing a much darker, jealous side.

The couple had been living together for six months before she began to notice warning signs. Then one night as she refreshed her lipstick outside of a club, she glanced up at a man walking past the couple's car, much to the displeasure of her partner.

"I took a glimpse at (the young man), basically unsure of why he was walking past the car," Taylor wrote. "Before I knew it, something hit me in my face, and it felt like a bolt of lightning. I was startled and confused. My nose was bleeding everywhere and started to swell."

Taylor's partner punched her, grabbing her by the throat as he demanded she stop screaming "or else he would give me something else to scream about," she said.

The next day, he came home with a diamond bracelet, a box of chocolate and a card professing his love. He said he was sorry. He said he would never hit her again. He said no one would truly love her the way he does.

Young and naive, Taylor believed him. She truly loved him and wanted things to work out.

But the abuse, both mental and physical, continued. He controlled Taylor, isolating her from friends and family. He threatened to kill her loved ones if she fought back or told anyone.

"He knew my ups and downs, he knew my fears, he knew everything about me and that’s what he used against me," Taylor said.

Only Taylor's mother knew the full extent of the abuse. She told her daughter she prayed every day that she would leave the man before it was too late. Taylor almost didn't make it.

Taylor said the man came to her home one night after being released from jail and said he just wanted to talk. After some persistence, she let him in. That's when he accused her of seeing another man and punched her.

For the first time, she fought back. The fight was so loud that a neighbor called police.

At one point the man bent her over a coffee table and wrapped his hands around her throat, nearly choking her to death.

"He said to me ‘I told you, if I can’t have you nobody else will,'" Taylor recalled. "I started having flashbacks of my family ... I had a flashback of my mother standing there and she was saying, 'Call on Jesus, call on Jesus.' ... I said, 'God help me, I don’t want to die like this.'"

Summoning what little strength she had left, Taylor reached out and grabbed one of her brother's boxing trophies, striking the man over the head. All she remembers next is the sound of police knocking on the door.

At last, the nightmare was over.

For years, Taylor refused to tell family members and friends about the abuse she experienced. She felt ashamed, embarrassed and worried what people might think if they knew.

That all changed in March 2004 when she learned of Deborah Moore-Foster, who was stabbed to death inside her Capital Avenue NE apartment by her husband, Robert Foster Jr. Foster was subsequently convicted by a jury of first-degree murder in June 2005.

The tragedy motivated Taylor to come forward and share her story. She detailed her abuse in an April 4, 2004 article in the Enquirer.

The reaction was unlike anything Taylor could have expected.

"Basically, I was abused all over again. People were ridiculing me," she said.

The backlash led Taylor to once again keep quiet about the abuse she experienced. As years went by, her mother continued to urge her to speak out, reminding Taylor, "God saved you for a reason. You’ve got a purpose."

"When I made that Facebook page and my phone started blowing up, I knew then, that was my purpose," Taylor said. "I knew then, I have to do more. I have to write this book. I have to get this book out. I have to let people know the dark side of domestic violence.

If nothing else, Taylor hopes the book will allow people to better understand why victims often stay in abusive relationships.

"Just be a support, be a supporter. Just be there for them," Taylor said. "I just want people to stop being judgmental when it comes to domestic violence."

Contact reporter Greyson Steele at gsteele@battlecreekenquirer.com

This article originally appeared on Battle Creek Enquirer: Battle Creek woman Doris Taylor collaborates with domestic violence survivors on new book