"That's A Fit Boy": Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Just Shared The Weirdest Video Of 2023 So Far, And It Must Be Seen To Be Believed
On June 25, anti-vaccine activist/former environmental lawyer/current Democratic candidate for president, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (aka "RFK Jr."), shared a 19-second video of him attempting to do push-ups while shirtless and wearing jeans in an empty parking lot.
Getting in shape for my debates with President Biden! pic.twitter.com/ns8MdJVlmx
— Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) June 25, 2023
@RobertKennedyJr / Via Twitter: @RobertKennedyJr
RFK Jr. officially launched his presidential campaign on April 19, 55 years after his father, Robert F. Kennedy, launched his own Democratic presidential campaign.
The video immediately went viral, and people were quick to point out how utterly bizarre it was for so many reasons — including, but not limited to, the fact that it seemed more like a bad audition to be the next Joe Rogan than president of the United States.
congrats on… *checks notes* … not completing a single full push-up in jeans weirdo !!!!! https://t.co/UWV3Qbw8rb
— Annie Wu (all socials: @annie_wu_22) (@Annie_Wu_22) June 26, 2023
@RobertKennedyJr / Via Twitter: @Annie_Wu_22
So I'm taking it upon myself to catalogue every weird thing RFK Jr. does in this clip...for science.
1.Right off the bat, it's strange that the video opens — without introduction or explanation — on a shirtless, grunting RFK Jr. bending down to assume his push-up position.
Why didn't he just start the video after he got in position??? What benefit does this weird intro have, other than making viewers feel wildly uncomfortable?
2.At 0:02, the original shock of the opening second wears off, but it's replaced by the startling realization that RFK Jr. is shirtless. Why? To what end?!?!
All this confusion could have been avoided if presidential candidates understood the importance of including intros in all their weird alpha male push-up videos!
3.But what RFK Jr. lacks in upper-body apparel, he makes up for by wearing jeans and a belt for some reason.
Every January, I begrudgingly wander into a gym for a few weeks before abandoning that resolution for the year, so I've seen what people wear to work out. And I've never in my decade of Januarys seen someone wear belted jeans to the gym. Is it possible RFK Jr. is faking his alpha gym bro status for clout??? I don't know, I'm just asking questions.
4.At 0:03, RFK Jr. finally attempts his first push-up. Admittedly, I am not personally acquainted with the physical act of doing push-ups, but I have it on good authority that what RFK Jr. does in this video is more akin to what an alien's idea of a push-up would look like.
I hate to say it, but perhaps the belted jeans are holding him back.
5.At 0:04, a deep, disembodied voice behind the camera utters "let's go," the first spoken words of the video. It sounds more like a threat than encouragement, and now I have two questions: 1) Who is recording this video? and 2) Is RFK Jr. filming this video under duress?
Regardless, this recording is definitely not filmed by a campaign-approved videographer:
— The framing is terrible (his legs are cut out of half the shots, and it's my understanding that legs are crucial for push-ups).
— The exposure is all out of whack.
— The cameraman's shadow blocks our view of RFK Jr. for a large portion of the video (this is probably for the best).
6.Speaking of questions, where is this being filmed??? There's asphalt and gates and workout equipment, but I've never been to a gym OR parking lot that looks like this. Is there such a thing as a combination parking lot and fitness center? Sort of like a reverse combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell, but the number of shirtless men remains the same.
7.At 0:06, we begin to hear RFK Jr.'s audibly strained grunts, which don't stop until he rises to a standing position.
The sound of these grunts are the jarring sprinkles on top of RFK Jr.'s wildly uncomfortable push-up sundae — entirely unnecessary, but the dish wouldn't feel complete without them.
8.The asphalt in the scorching sun doesn't look like it's helping his performance, but maybe all that direct skin-on-asphalt contact is the reason why RFK Jr. looks like he's cosplaying as the crispy skin on a Costco rotisserie chicken.
9.At 0:10, you can clearly see the black and blue underwear sticking out of RFK Jr.'s jeans — none of that tighty-whitey beta male crap. Upon closer inspection, I was surprised to see he's actually donning the Hanes logo. (Is it possible Ed Hardy and Hanes had a collaboration I didn't know about?)
10.At 0:14, RFK Jr. slowly rises from his push-up position with an expression on his face similar to what I imagine people waking up from a hypnotic trance look like. He doesn't seem to understand what he just did any more than the rest of us, and I find that oddly comforting.
11.Nevertheless, he immediately snaps out of his trance at 0:16, as his expression morphs into that of a man who is proud of his self-determined "accomplishment."
His overwhelming pride almost makes me want to congratulate him, in the same way I feel compelled to congratulate a toddler who screams "watch this!!!" at me, then jumps two inches in the air and waits expectantly for my praise.
12. Thankfully, RFK Jr.'s complete and utter inability to perform an actual push-up didn't deter him from completing a total of nine attempted push-ups, which is not exactly a number to brag about. But don't worry — RFK Jr. explains that he only filmed his "final set," and he totally did like 1,000 push-ups off camera before this, you just weren't there to see it, but it definitely happened, trust me.
Final set
— Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) June 25, 2023
13.At 0:17, he makes a "heh-heh" sound, which I imagine is his attempt at smug laughter, as if to say "take THAT, Biden!"
I'm sure Biden is currently huddled with the Joint Chiefs in the Situation Room, devising his attack plan in response to RFK Jr.'s "heh-heh" shot heard 'round the world.
14.On that note, it's time to address the utterly bizarre video caption, "Getting in shape for my debates with President Biden!"
That caption inspires more questions than answers, including but not limited to:
— Has RFK Jr. ever watched an actual presidential debate before?
— Is his crispy, shirtless appearance a shameless attempt to win over Florida voters?
— How will his shirtless push-ups help lower- and middle-class voters in a time of unprecedented income inequality?
15.Here's my theory: In 2016, President Biden said, "The press always ask me, don't I wish I were debating [Trump]? No, I wish we were in high school, I could take him behind the gym." I think RFK Jr. wants to forego the debate entirely and fight Biden behind the gym (which would also answer the question of where this video was filmed).
16.Another baffling possibility: Does RFK Jr. think the Presidential Physical Fitness Test is a fitness test for presidential candidates...?
Unfortunately for RFK Jr., reading comprehension is a crucial part of the job.
17.And finally, at 0:19, the cameraman utters something so upsetting, so bone-chilling, so deeply bizarre, that it will haunt me for eternity: "That's a fit boy."
I know I'll hear "that's a fit boy" echoing in my head as I fall asleep every night for the rest of my life.
In total, RFK Jr. did 17 super-weird things in 19 seconds, for an average of one super-weird thing every 1.1 seconds. That's gotta be some kind of weird thing record!!!
