I celebrated turning 30 alone in lockdown - and it was the best birthday I've ever had

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear me-ee?, happy birthday to me.’

I never imagined I’d have to sing happy birthday to myself as I turned 30, but that’s exactly what happened. I had originally planned a big weekend away in Kent with my closest girlfriends to celebrate the occasion - stressing to them this was my equivalent of a hen do, and organising it months in advance - when coronavirus hit.

In comparison to the tragedy it is bringing to so many people, across the world, having to cancel my 30th birthday plans obviously wasn’t a huge deal. But as the disappointment set in and the day approached, it began to hit me that - as I live alone - I’d have to see in my big 3-0 all by myself.

The fears started to creep in. Would this be a symbolic start to the next decade of my life? Would I end up eating ice-cream out of the tub in my pyjamas singing All By Myself a la Bridget Jones? Or would I just spend the whole day on my phone, yelling at my Wifi, as I called pixelated friends on Zoom?

I took to Twitter for advice from others who have celebrated milestone birthdays in lockdown, and realised the answer to surviving a solo birthday all lay in one hyphenated word: self-care. So, I ordered my favourite cake from bakery Cutter & Squidge, I made sure my fridge was stocked with champagne, and I swallowed my pride to ask my friends if they’d send me cards in the post to give me something tangible to look forward to on the day.

It meant that I spent the last night of my twenties a bit like Christmas Eve as a child. I had a table full of cards and gifts ready to open in the morning - a novelty for a millennial who usually never receives post - a delicious cake in the fridge, and the knowledge that if it all got too much, I had bottles of fizz to drown my sorrows.

I started well. I did an hour’s worth of yoga (telling myself it was important to start the next decade as I mean to go on), followed by a homemade fry-up for breakfast. I decided to dress up in the kind of outfit I’d never normally wear - rainbow sequins - and set to opening my flowers, cards and gifts. It was the most special moment of the day, and a reminder that I’m lucky enough to be loved by so many wonderful people.

The loneliness only set in later. It felt odd to not hug a single person, to not even raise a celebratory glass with a friend. But it was 23 degrees outside, so I forced myself into my shared garden, and was greeted with a birthday surprise. I met one of my neighbours, who has lived building for five years, for the very first time - and we immediately hit it off (while social distancing, of course). Just speaking to another human lifted my mood, especially when it became obvious this could be the start of a real friendship. It felt like a birthday present from the universe, and with my spirits cheered, the rest of the day improved.

I half-jokingly sang myself 'happy birthday' in the mirror, ate my cake, leaving slices on the doorsteps of various neighbours as a surprise, and changed the route of my daily walk so that I’d symbolically go past the Royal Free Hospital, where I’d been born exactly 30 years earlier.

The day was interspersed with phone calls from friends and family - including one touching visit from a friend who lives nearby, and came bearing chocolate. We spoke briefly from my doorway - but the truth is that the best part was celebrating by myself.

The peak came in the evening, when my dinner arrived. To celebrate, I’d ordered myself a three-course meal from theapp One Fine Dine. As I followed the instructions to plate-up my seaweed-cured salmon, black miso cod and tiramisu Michelin-style, it hit me that this might be one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.

I’d never imagined that it would feel anything but lonely and tragic to spend my milestone birthday alone, but actually, it was a reminder that I do really love my own company. I so rarely dress up for myself, or treat myself with delicious food when I’m alone, but this birthday showed me the joy in loving my own company.

There were hard moments, and I’d always rather spend a birthday with loved ones, but it taught me a life-changing lesson. And at the very least, it's likely be the most memorable birthday I’ve ever had.